Dinner time preparation at my house a few nights ago... Autumn doing her homework and listening to some music or story. Isaac very needy and wanting to be held and Lydia wanting to be my little helper. So dinner prep began with lots of tugs on the pants and "what can i do next' please. At one point Autumn needed to know what this and that Turkish word was in English and Issac was crying and whining to be held and Autumn was yelling "I can't hear to concentrate" (meanwhile music is on- which I just never seemed to be able to make it over there to shut it off?) and Lydia following me around asking what else she could do. So I am holding a Turkish/English dictionary, Isaac, stirring my tomato paste in the water and Lydia patting me over and over asking how she can "help" now? Then at some point 2 out of three were crying for some reason. The Chaos in the kitchen felt like it just kept increasing and with plenty of noise to go with it. At one point Lydia and Isaac are both sitting on the counter Lydia "helping" and me trying to give Isaac fun things to do with no avail. I stopped and started dinner so many times that night. I was only making vegetarian chili and cornbread but we didn't eat until 7:00 that night but we DID eat. During those moments I was asking myself 'what is the deal? what is going on?" as if my family is always the Christmas family picture example. The verse that came to my mind in that moment was 1 Peter 4:12 Paul wrote "Don't be surprised at the trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad for these trials, that make you partners with Christ in his suffering.." Ok so my moment of trial wasn't quite the suffering I think Paul meant here however it still applied to me and I believe Christ gave me this verse at that moment so I could receive grace and not have a complaining heart which so effects my attitude even if I don't say the words.
Really my patience was whaning on and off that night. These things happen so often and if my expections are right then my patience is full and grace is sufficient. I should remember that these are some of those character trails in my life... i think I forget to be "glad" for this kind of trial thinking that dinner was the end goal.
~ all for now