Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Fairness vs Generosity

In my home this past week I have been considering fairness. I have recently noticed that I am a tad imbalanced in teaching fairness in my home. I am beginning to see how fairness played out to the end will erode generosity in my kids.  I am on a quest to help my kiddos not to always just  'be fair' but to be 'thoughtful and generous'. I want to help them to consider someone else and not always have to divide it down the middle but be willing to let go and enjoy someone else getting more.

This picture was taken in a small village on the Aegean cost of Turkey. 
I am not concluding that being fair is a bad thing but if that is my focus when teaching my kids I think I and they will be missing out on a Kingdom principle...'Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.' It can be easier for me as a mom to just flip a coin or appeal for my kids to be fair but in the long run I am not cultivating a heart of giving and generosity towards others but a 'make sure I get my half" attitude. Many times when considering fairness there seems to be a sense of 'entitlement', I am entitled to my fair share. It seems to be that when I encourage that kind of fairness in play with sibling and others it only keeps back the selfishness for a time but doesn't really deal with the heart attitude.

Well these are some of my thoughts. I am still considering the ideas of Justice vs fairness and God as being our just judge but I thought I would share with you the beginning of my thoughts and how I am applying it to my daily living with my children. ~

 ~ "One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want."

~"Blessed are they who maintain justice, who constantly do what is right."
Ps. 106:3

~"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but with humility consider others as more important than yourself." Phil. 2;3

I would love your thoughts...feel free to comment and to add your opinion. i don't mind someone disagreeing with me or challenging me..just keep it kind. ;)

In my west corner,

Ps. how do you like my new header? I love seeing my cup of tea all ready for me when I visit my blog.
 I know I am such a 30 something tea geek. :)


Veronica and Daniel said...

I think this is a lesson that everyone can benefit from, not just children :) What a great Biblical principle to instill in your kids! I remember when I was teaching that it was hard to even convince my students to share equally, yet alone be generous in giving...they were almost obsessed with things being 'fair' and if it was ever 'not fair' many students could not handle it. In real life, things are not always fair, and I think having an attitude of gratitude and generosity will take them far! We have Phil 2:3 on our bathroom mirror right now...I like to meditate it when I am brushing my teeth!

AsSnugAsABug said...

I think this is a key idea, and grace plays a big part. I want to say more but must run to a crying baby.

Creatively Content said...

Assnugasabug...thanks for your comment, I would love to read more when ever you have time. :)

Creatively Content said...

Veronica, I too should put that verse somewhere in my house. Really enjoyed reading your comment.

Anonymous said...

I thought about this post so many times today. Especially when I was trying to make things "fair" between the kids. It's great insight. I agree, with wanting my kids to be generous. Thanks for being you!!
Laura in England

Creatively Content said...

Laura, What a treat to hear from you. Thanks. Much love and grace to you as you teach your sweet kiddos. I would love to hug on 'em. ;)

Betsy de Cruz said...

This is a great kingdom principle, really. I agree that it is for grown-ups AND kids!To be always keeping score goes against a generous heart of love, somehow.

But if you come up with any wise way to teach this to your kids, be sure at let me know!!! I suspect prayer is the most important element towards making this part of a family philosophy.

Anonymous said...

If only whole countries could learn this.

And as a dedicated tea drinker, love your hew header.

megnuno said...

I love this mentality! I have been doing this for years...mostly just to preserve my sanity so that I don't have to make everything "fair":). I liked your spiritual approach to it though, I hadn't thought of that! It seems so many are focused on the fairness principle even in our marriages. We figured out a long time ago that it is almost impossible to figure out what is "fair" and instead both focus on giving 100%..instead of trying to divide everything "50-50". Love this, Becks!

Creatively Content said...

Olive, I have found that just since my thoughts and philosophy have been enlightened that I am much quicker to encourage my kids in the same. so grateful the Lord is always at work in me. :)

Creatively Content said...

Meg, You are a wise women my friend.:)

Creatively Content said...

Anonymous, Thank you for your 'header' comment ~ it made my day fellow tea drinking friend. :)

Jess said...

I think my best concept is something I learned in an education class in grad school: "Fair does not mean equal."

It's kind of a hard concept to teach kids, but I like to use ice cream and daddy--it wouldn't be fair if daddy got a teeny tiny bowl every time (just like the toddler), but it would be equal.

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